Katanungan lang..??????

ang tawag sa gumagawa ng tubo, tubero. Ang tawag sa kumukuha ng basura,
basurero. Ang tawag sa mahilig sa gimik, gimikero. Sa maraming babae,
babaero. Ang tawag sa nakaupo sa kanto.?




Tambay pare, tambay!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahahahaha..Tama naman.

English 101...

THIS IS AN EMAIL LETTER SENT TO A RAGHIB HASSAN & THE SENDER IS UNKNOWN BUT JUST READ ON AND WEEP.HAHAHA!

"Deer Friend,

I am well, hope you are also in the well. Your parents had invited me
for the welding but i could not attend it, so they are paranoid with me.
You know it was difficult for me to attend marriage on such a shorts notice.
Anyway, i always weight for your letter, i know you will right me one day.
Wether is very cold here.. My parents are sold now, so they need someone
to take care of them. You know, I have cpmpleted one year in my new office,
so expecting salary hype.
Please convey my hell yo your friend.
Looking forward to here erring from you soon.

Buy, by
Sea you soon!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hehehehe..ambot!

KSP!!

Boy1: Nakaka-awa naman Lola mo!
Boy2: Bakit?
Boy1: Nakasabay ko kasing mag-simba nung Isang araw, Ubo ng Ubo!
Pinagtitinginan nga ng mga tao.
Boy2: Wala yun. papansin lang yun!
Boy1: bakit?
Boy2: Bago kasi Blouse nya!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahahaha..Ayos style ni Lola ah.

Coded....

A man marries a deaf girl.
He mimes: 'let's make a code: if I want sex, I will
squeeze your breast. In response, you can pull my penis once for
Yes, and 50 times for No'

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahahaha...

Quote of the Day!....Reload.

Do unto others ... then run!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahaha! My 2nd favorite quote.hahaha

Quote of the Day!....

It's better to cheat than to repeat!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is MY all time favorite quote! Nyahahaha.

Parachute...

Nagka-engine trouble ang sinasakyang eroplano nina Erap at FVR kaya binigyan sila ng tig-isang parachute para makatalon palabas.

Dahil sundalo at sanay si FVR sa ganito, pinauna niyang tumalon si Erap. Tumalon si Erap at nagbukas agad ang kanyang parachute.

Sumunod si FVR, kaso, sira ang naibigay sa kanya at hindi iyon bumukas kaya bumulusok siyang pababa.

Nakita ito ni Erap at sumigaw siya:

"Ah karera pala ang gusto mo, ha? Teka!" sabay alis ni Erap ng suot niyang parachute para
maunahan si FVR..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahaha! Michael Shoesmaker!

Post 9/11

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pls. read the papers lagi..nyahahaha!!

Si Father...

Lady: Father, ang guapo at cute mo naman. Bakit kasi nag-pari ka!

Father: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na mag-madre ako eh...
DI bah nakakalungkot naman girl!!!!!!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ahahahahaha!

Demonyo..

Si Satanas mi-appear sa park.....

Pastor: Pahawa! sa power sa akong pagto-u..pahawa satanas! Pahawa!

Satanas: Char! ....................Murag tag-iya sa park!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahahaha! Salamat kay putot sa pag-contribute..

Spelling 101

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ERAP Jokes

IQ TEST:

A teacher went up to Erap because he wanted to test Erap`s IQ.
Teacher: Erap, can you spell defense?
Erap: Aba naman, oo!!! D-E-F-E-N-S-E!!!
T: Aba, tama ho! E, defeat?
E: Aba naman... kadali-dali! D-E-F-E-A-T!!!
T: Naku, President Erap! Ang galing niyo naman! E, how about detail?
E: D-E-T-A-I-L!
T: Naku, President Erap! Ang dami-daming nagkamali tungkol sa inyo ha! Eh ang tali-talino niyo pala! O, ito, last question ko sayo. Gamitin mo and defense, defeat and detail in a sentence.
E: The cow jump over DEFENSE, first DEFEAT then DETAIL.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tama nga naman!! hahaha!

Pahambugay!!

PEDRO: Pre, nakakita ka nako ganina nag-kumpayot ko sa Helicopter???

JUAN: Wala raba ko naka-hangad ganina pre kay ga-lukdo man gud ko ug Bulldozer!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahahahahaha! Ayos ka 'Dro!

DK!! Donkey Kong...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hehehehe!

Sinong Mahal...

BATA: Tay, sino ang mahal mo? ako o si nanay?

TATAY: Syempre ikaw!

BATA: Kaya pala, pagmadaling araw kinukumutan mo ako,
si nanay hinuhubaran mo! I love you, tatay!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nyahahahaha! Tnx Insan Edwhard sa pag txt ani.

"Kahit lumaklak ka ng sangkatutak na centrum,


Kung wala naman ako,


I'm sure you wont be complete!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahaha..Sheila nag send ani..take two!

Nanay ug Anak...

Nanay: Hala! cge Layas! Ayaw nag-balik dri sa balay!
Sukad karon, ayaw nko tawaga ug nanay ug dli
tapod ka tawagung anak, kasabot ka?!?!


Anak: Char! Cge friend adto nako!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ahahaha..ataya! salamat kang Sheila Putot sa share.

The Philippine presidents flying in a plane.
GMA: what if I throw a check for a million pesos out the window to make at
least 1 Filipino happy?

CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw 2 checks for half a million each and
thus make 2 Filipinos happy?

RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make
four Filipinos happy?

And on it went until finally, Erap blurts out:
"but madam president, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and
make all the Filipinos happy?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hehehehe.

Putol!

Nanay: Anak, ba't hinimatay ang tatay mo?

Anak: Kasi naman Nay, nag-txt si Kuya galing Saudi dahil
nag-patuli na daw cya at english-english pa kasi sabi nya,
"Tay, just got BEHEADED!"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nyahahahahahahha!

Ping-Pong Matrix

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
nakita nako sa videocloud.org

Busina...

Mekaniko: Sir, hindi ko po maayus ang preno nyo..

Customer: HA?!! Eh, pano yan?!?

Mekaniko: Nilakasan ko nalang po ang busina! Happy Trip po!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahaha! Patay kang bata ka.

Pillow Talk..

Mrs: Honey, am i pretty or ugly?

Mr: Hmmmmmmm..Both!

Mrs: Anong both? Pwedeng pretty?Pwedeng ugly?

Mr: Hindi,ang ibig kung sabihin, you're pretty ugly!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nyahahaha! Tumpak!

Miss Gay pageant...

HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic
crisis?

BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahaha! Tumbling!

Raspa!

NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?

DR: alin, yung bakla?

NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.

DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OO nga naman! hahaha.

Iring!!!

Juan: Pre! Isaag ra gud ning iring kay kawaran kaayu!

Pedro: Oki!!!

................
Juan: O Pre, dugay man lagi ka kabalik?

Pedro: Litsing iringa na!! Kung wala ko misunod niya, dili pako ka-uli!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahahaha! Amaw!

pipsi dli cook!!

Customer: (suko mode) Waiter, kadugay ba sa akong order!!!
Pila man diay inyong cook dri???

Waiter: Ay! Sir, wala man mi Coke dri Pipsi lang, Pipsi!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nyahahahahaha! Pirting bisaya-a oi!

ERAP Jokes

In Grade School, asked to define BACTERIA,
Erap answered: "It's the backdoor of the Cafeteria"!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bwahahahahaha! Idol!

What's your Order???

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Salamat sa Tita Lorna ko sa pag-email nito..hahaha

Ang Mga Bugo'.

Bugo1: Pre, 2 + 2 kuno beh?

Bugo2: Kana lang? Eh di 5!

Bugo1: Bwahahahahaha!

Bugo2: Ngano mikatawa man ka?!?

Bugo1: Wala lang. Abi man nako wala ka kabalo!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Quote for the week"

" Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika! ay, lumaki sa ibang bansa!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HEHEHE..Tama nga naman.

Si Juan jud.....

Titser: Juan, use DOES in a sentence!!!

Juan: Maam, The Carabao DOESmag the tree!

Titser: What? What?

Juan: Matabang ug huWhat nga nadasmag na!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

hahahaha..Pastilan Juan.

Bday...

Boy: Atty! Gusto ko mag-ilis ug pangalan.

Atty: Ngano man? unsa may imo pangalan diay?

Boy: Jograd Putig-tae.

Atty: Bitaw, askang bati-a jud. unya unsa man imo gusto iilis?

Boy: Caloy Putig-tae..(bwahahaha.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

bwahahahaha....ambot!

Trahedya!

* The 3 tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does NOT!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ahahaha! sometimes! Hahahaha

Erapmania

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?

ERAP: . (di nagsasalita)

JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.

ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ahahahaha! Cge na nga. next Question!

Spelling 101!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bwahahaha! Duha ka itlog na-ay machine gun!

Erapmania

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yung attendant nataranta.

ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.

ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nyahahaha! Idol!

Lesson for the day!!

TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?

PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!

TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?

PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.

Kamali-an!

BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali !

Lagi nalang ako mali !!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak.
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahaha.Ewan.

SAKSI!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nyahahaha..wala pa cguro ni pamahaw.

Bwahahahaha!

pano sasabihin sa isang girl na maitim ang kili-kili niya without hurting

her feelings?

"ganda ng deodorant mo ha, kiwi?"

ERAP SA PIZZA HUT

WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?

ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos.

Paryente!!!

Mama: Anak dili ka manguyab sa mga dalaga ning baryoha ha kay puro imong

paryente.

Anak: O ma!

Mama: O ngano tutok man ka sa baka?

Anak: Mama sad oy hasta baka akong paryente?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hahahaha..pati baka..

English 101

This was taken somewhere in Syria:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahahaha..Amboooot!

Quote of the day!!

"Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, huwag lang sa
lasing na bagong gising."

English 101

Ako ni nakita nga announcement dri sa usa ka bldg. sa Dubai:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
hahahahaha!! Dumb daw! ataya!

Quote of the Day!!!

Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin ... may utang!

Joke Time!!

Erap Jokes:

Cabinet member: Mr. President our population growth rate is very
alarming, there is 1 woman giving birth every minute!
Erap: We have to stop this and look for that woman!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bahala na dugay na ni basta alayb ta..hahaha!

e-push jud!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahahaha! Ataya! salamat sa Greenpinoy...Alayb2x!

Quote of the Day!!!

"When all else fails, follow instructions."

Anonymous

tatay: anak, paliti kog softdrinks
anak: coke o pepsi?
tatay: coke...
anak: diet o regular?
tatay: regular...
anak: bote o can?
tatay: bote...
anak: 8 oz. o litro?
tatay: punyeta....tubig na lang
anak: natural o mineral?
tatay: mineral...
anak: bugnaw o dili?
tatay: lambusan ta man ka aning silhig ron...
anak: lanot o tukog?
tatay: animal man seguro ka!!!
anak: baka o baboy?
tatay: layas!!!...layas! !!...
anak: karon o ugma?
tatay: karon na!!!
anak: imo ko ihatud o dili?
tatay: patyon ta ka karon!!!
anak: tuk-on o pusilon?
tatay: pusilon!!!
anak: sa ulo o tiyan?
tatay: pisteee!!!
anak: ok-ok o ilaga?
tatay: aaaahhhhh... .buang!!!

anak: kinsa...ikaw o ako?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Salamat sa nag-email ani nga si JOseph Uy..Brad, hahaha..bahalag daan basta katawa.

Tribute to Women!!!

Believe it or Not……………

Woman has Man in it;

Mrs. has MR in it;

Female has MALE in it;

She has HE in it;

Madam has ADAM in it;

No wonder Men always want

to be inside Women.

Men were born between the

Legs of a woman, yet men

Spend all their lives trying to

Go back between the legs of a

Woman....

And even notice how Women’s

Problems start with MEN???

Ø MEN tal illness.

Ø MEN strual cramps

Ø MEN tal breakdown

Ø MEN opause

Ø GUY necologist

And real trouble is

HIS terectomy!!!

Hehehehe.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Salamat kay Chong nga Bana ni Chay sa Pag Email ani nga artikulo..hahaha.

HAHAHAHA! Bahalag kara-an na ni nga Video. Makalingaw gehapon.

JOKE TIME!!!

PIRATE INTERVIEW:

Osa ka pirata gi interview sa reporter.
Reporter: Nganong imong pikas tiil kahoy man?
Pirata: Ah, naigo ni sa bala unya giputul giilisan na lang ug kahoy.
Reporter: Imong toong kamot naa may hook?
Pirata: Ah, naputol ni sa espada diha nga duna kuy kaaway.
Reporter: Unya imong pikas mata duna man nai itum nga tabon? (eye patch).
Pirata: Ah, naithan ni ug langgam unya nabuta.
Reporter: Ha? Makabuta diay nang iti sa langgam?
Pirata: Gilugud man gud nako sa akong toong kamut.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

thanks to Joseph Uy for the share...hehehehe.

Drinking Cold water after every meal...

HEALTH MATTERS:

It's always good to know these things.....
This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your
meal, but about ladies and their heart attacks.

This makes sense.... the Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their
meals...not cold water...
maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing
to lose, everything to gain...

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to
you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the
cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It
will slow down the digestion.

Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be
absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the
intestine.
Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to
drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. A serious note about heart
attacks:
Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the
left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may
never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who
have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be
aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Drinking a hot tea after a meal also helps in the digestion of food ingon sako Lola.

sa Langit wala ang BEER!!!

Ayos ni! shot beh!

Masculine or Feminine???

From an Anonymous source: Read & compare then SMILE!!

A Spanish Teacher was explaining
to her class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

“House”
For instance,
is feminine:
'La Casa’.

“Pencil’,
However,
is masculine:
‘El Lapiz’.

A student asked,
“What gender is a computer?’
instead of giving the answer,

The teacher split the class into
two groups, male & female,
and asked them to decide
for themselves whether

‘Computer’

Should be
a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give
4 reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that
'computer’
should definitely be
of the feminine gender
(‘La computadora’),

Because:

1. No one but their creator
understands their internal
logic;

2. The native language
they use to communicate
with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone
else;

3. Even thesmallest mistakes
are stored in long term memory
for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a
commitment to one,
you find yourself spending
half your paycheck
on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however
concluded that computers
should be masculine
(‘El Computador’),

Because:

1. In order to do anything with
them, you have to turn
them ON.

2. They have a lot of data but
still can’t think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you
solve problems, but half
the time they are the PROBLEM!

AND

4. As soon as you commit to one,
you realize that if you had
waited a little longer,
you could have gotten a better model.

HAHAHA! Any comments guys?? igo' ba?

Males UNITE!!!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
> every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
> it. That's what we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
> argument.
> In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
>
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one
> of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theother one
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
> during commercials..
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither
> do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
> settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also
> a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
> We will act like nothing's wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
> Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
> wear is fine... Really .
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
> or golf.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight..HAHAHA!.

Guys, any comment on this? i think this strikes..hahaha..
Ladies, what about?hehehe..

Apo ug Lolo!!!

Just heard from the Jokers:


APO UG LOLO..

APO: Lo, ngano nag kaangkaang man kag lakaw?

LOLO: aw, ayaw nagud ni pansina apo oi

APO: ngano lagi na lo?

LOLO: ingon man gud sa akong doktor na likayan ang itlog kay taas ug kolesterol.

Natakdan!!hehehe..

Well, the "sleep Bug" has gripped the office!!! hahaha...Polthorn is snoring and salivating..hehe..Another day in the office..

Sleeping Partner sa Office

After having lunch & after a half days work which was soooo hectic...hmmmm..Sherwin aka "pisot", doused off.hehehe.

Welcome

Hello people! bear with my Corny-niness..Hahaha..If you have one, post or email me...markusthe2nd@gmail.com..............Enjoy reading!!